Panic Attack

Panic Attack

The fast paced breaths,

The cold sweats and the image of my head being in a cage,

My heart yealped and wailed for help,

But the toungue failed.

Staggerig to find my place,
I sit down trying to calm the storm that hit me,
Little did it help,
The old creaky vault of my memories opened up.

Dusting up the old videos of my memories, 
The brain decided to revisit them,
Trying to trace us from the fragmented torned up peices,
Stifling myself even further. 

Episodes like this started to pop up, 
Since we decided to part ways, 
A decision which I was never a part of, 
My heart sinking down an abyss was the only thing I remember. 

For hours I would sit in the dark,
In the very corner of the room where we would cuddle up and be lost in the dreams,
Waiting for you to come and hug me close, 
And not let me be cold beside the fireplace. 

Each sandgrain drops from its place to the bottom of the hourglass,
In slow motion it was like even the time around me was giving me a chance to wake up from my nightmare, 
But it was all in my mind, 
The void never ceased to exist. 

The place which was ours now sublet itself to the empty bottles around me, 
To the smoke which would hover as if asking me to join them, 
Somehow I would survive only to be tortured by the memories of us around me,
Days would pass until you stop living on the canvas hanging on my walls. 

Panic attacks seemed to be my new address of us,
With each attack I would feel a bit closer to you, 
Your fragnance which would keep me housed, 
The touch of yours would keep me away from reality. 

My body now a cocktail of medicines, 
Would beg for more, 
Resisting my will to keep me close to you, 
It would bring me back to the corner of the room. 

Hugging myself, 
As if trying to keep me warm, 
With beads of sweat on my head, 
Trying to gather my fallen strength. 

I would walk my way to you, 
Only to be surrounded by a voice begging to see you, 
Crossing the road while my head spliting itself from my body,
Crashing into a car blocking my path.

The gurney now housing my limp body, 
With morphine now running inside of me, 
I could see you asking for me to come to you,
Obliging I closed my eyes. 

Looking at you hugging me and protecting my brittle soul, 
I clock out of this life, 
While the doctors trying to get me out of my V-Fib, 
I resist every attempt. 

With my open lifeless eyes, 
My memories now the world where I live in, 
Not realising that it was you who held my hand,
When all I could think of was the life that we now live in my memories 

The Voice

The Voice

The voice still ringing in his ears,

Still the roaring rage hidden inside of him,

Screamed at a decibel that only the animals could hear 

Breaking everything that he had built,

A man who had lived his life for his science, 

Trying to find ways to make the world a better place, 

Humble than any human being alive, 

Soft spoken and always had a kind gaze whenever he looked. 

Studying everyone that passes him,
As if he is trying to remember someone from the crowd,
Trying to make sure if that face is there in reality,
Or just a figment from his imagination.

With his eyes turning black as if the devil had possessed his soul,
He wandered throughout the town,
Wreaking every soul from the face of the earth,
Trying hard to find someone to control him

She stood there in fear,
Looking at the mayhem that he had left behind,
From the man he once was,
To a monster that he had become.

Her heart was always in his hands,
The life that they had created,
Was left in shambles,
The eyes still had those lost expression as if they were asking her for help.

Destroying every bit of life,
That he had built for her,
Just in search for her to hold him down,
And bring him back to life,

She couldn't resist living life,
Knowing that he would live in misery and rage forever,
As if he was asking her to resurrect his soul,
Only to wonder if she was the one who would only keep him in control.

She pulled him up towards her,
Trying to control his staggering steps,
Only her voice now breaking through the barriers of his rage,
But he never knew that the knife would pierce him through.

She pulled him off from his misery,
And he was right to know,
That no matter how powerful his rage was,
Her eyes would be dangerous than his angered soul.

Singing him a lullaby,
With a lone tear dropping from her eye,
Asking him to forgive her,
Because with his soul she can't survive,
As the monster in him was slayed,
He looked at her with his lifeless eyes,
Sometimes love is not what saves you,
Sometimes it is the one that destroys you