River

River

 

I have been through a lot,
From heartaches to mind haze,
Everything that you and I worked hard for,
Now is hanging on the balance.

Standing by the edge,
Trying to hold you close by a thread,
My heart yearns for a glimpse of you,
One glimpse and then its done.

Tried hard to tell you,
So let me share a tale,
A story of a man who had everything,
But he choose to forfeit.

Everything he had was  never enough,
His hunger for something better,
Had managed to bring him far,
Only to be stopped by this one roadblock.

A beautiful roadblock who can only be described by poets and writers,
Her skin so smooth and reflecting the soft moonlight,
A smile so vicious which could slay the venomous of snakes,
I was a mere human looking straight into her eyes.

Just like an effect Medusa would have on men,
I stood there like a statue wondering,
About the last time I saw such a girl,
Only to find that you were one of a kind.

I was filled with pride and ambition,
You were filled with love,
As time passed by,
All I could wonder was how lucky I am to have you in my arms,

Some love stories last while some fade,
With each passing day our secrets were out,
People who should have never known,
Had finally found out.

The promises we had made,
Now was put to test,
Everything seemed as a test,
Shouting and fighting to make it work.

Only for you to let go of me,
For what you thought was for my sake,
But all the time the only thing I was trying to do,
Was just to give you what you want.

Like a sinner waiting for the judge to hand out a sentence,
I have been waiting for you to decide,
Decide the fate of the lover in me,
Sitting by the river,
Waiting for you to see past the sins that I have committed.

And as I see you play your end game,
I could see my flaws, paranoia and insecurities,
Become a reality,
All I could think is about the pain running my mind.

Wanting me to take the final drag of the final pack,
See the depth of the river,
And think of it as my bed,
While I am just trying hard to cling on to the final thread.

I Guess It Is Just us Now

I Guess It Is Just Us Now

Life has its own mysterious ways,
To make you walk on the path that it has selected for you,
Just like that I had met you,
A beautiful soul who seemed lost while finding her way out.

Never can I forget how we first met,
When you were caught up in your duty,
Thinking that I was the one who was responsible for the crimes,
Funny story of how criminals get away with the things and the innocent paying off the cost of their sins.

Somehow that one meeting turned out to be a start of something,
Something beautiful or something deranged I don't know,
But the thing that I am very certain about is the fact that I couldn't control myself around you.
My emotions overpowering the world of logic.

I was lost before you swung by,
And then it felt like a story,
How we started interacting beyond work,
And how close we got.

There are relationships which are difficult to describe,
Our's was like that,
We were partners in every single way,
From work to post work socializing.

It was like a relationship,
A relationship which was like a storm,
Every situation had been like a test for us,
Each case that we worked on had been a test.

Then one day I left,
I left the service to work on my own,
But it was you who I was concerned for,
You were bent on finding out something.

Something that was close to you,
A case that meant the world to you,
Willing to sacrifice what was important to you,
I never thought that I would be the one of the many things that you would sacrifice. 

Silently I walked off that night, 
Warning you that your obsession will get you killed, 
But you were hell bent on finding out the truth,
So delusional that you even thought your friends were your enemies,

If only you would have listened to me, 
Listened to the people who mattered, 
But then you were you, 
As the man who was responsible for your nightmares stood there.

And just like that he evaded you, 
Threw you off his trail, 
And lost in the winds, 
With only one bullet shot. 

You were on the floor lying in your own pool of blood,
And then you were being taken away, 
Looking around finding for me, 
Only to realize that I was not there anymore. 

You had woken from a nightmare,
Running from the hospital in the rain just to meet me, 
Like a story unfinished needed to have a good ending,
Now with your storm that is passed,
All I can think is that 
I guess it is just us now. 

In My Veins (The Untold Story) Part Three

In My Veins (The Untold Story) Part Three

The last one or the final nail in the coffin, 

I can't remember the last time that I saw you in pain, 

But today was something different, 

You had fulfilled the last promise you had made. 

Seeing the lifeless corpse being stretchered out,
I shuddered in pain,

Years had passed since I had to bid farewell, 
Still captivated by those magnificent eyes, 
Never had I thought that I would ever leave you,
Yet there was something that had made me go away. 

We had met each other while on a trip, 
You were a lost voyager while I was a woman without a home, 
 Both of us had something in common, 
The world was our playground and we had no permanent address. 

Spending years together, 
Travelling the world no one could have ever guessed the bond that we shared,
It was as if my life was blessing me with your presence,
There is a time in life when you wish to use the pause button and just stay happy,

But it wasn't meant to be, 
When we are blindly in love,
We choose to ignore the devil side of a humans nature,
And embrace the angel that we see in them.

It somehow fades away,
The cocaine and alcohol had destroyed not just your life but my life as well,
Drugs engulfed our relationship while the bottle was just a beaker of poison,
And it did murder a life... our life. 

I had to leave you for your own good,
But little did I know that I would be the one to push you down the ledge,
Years would have passed till I hear about you 
And the poisoned lifeless carcass was not the way I imagined seeing you. 

Venturing into the apartment which was ours, 
 Finding my way through the broken memories of ours, 
Trying to fish with behind the stack of books was a packet, 
and a little note in the packet of drugs. 

It was as if the words from the grave, 
Had come alive, 
"If I'd only been a bit stronger, maybe I wouldn't have murdered us."
And with that I hear the loud and fast ticking of a clock near by. 

Only to find a few sticks of Dynamite hidden behind a desk,
With a smile I accepted the punishment that you had handed me out,
Lighting the last cigarette I had, 
I saw the seconds pass at a speed of a snail. 

Reliving each and every moment that we had shared,
For one more time, 
And like the sky during a celebration, 
Our house lit celebrating our lives. 

One stick, One boom and uniting two lost souls at last,
The burning house had become the gateway for us. 
Years of separation had made the society think that we had moved on from each other, 
Only few knew that at the end of my life, 
I only wished for you to be there at the other side.

With the life being drained out from my eyes,
All I could see is the blood evaporating in the inferno where now I lie,
The moment the last drop left my body,
A shade of black now had covered my eyes. 

For you had finally let go of me, 

As you leave through the cracked skin,

Because all I had felt was you, 

Hidden in my veins. 

In My Veins Part Two (The Untold Story)

In My Veins- Part Two ( The Untold Story)

The Fire Brigade was there,

Right outside the door of what was our home, 

People around it as if they were waiting for a show to start,

Somehow after seven long years I still remember how our door looked. 

Funny how we ended up ruining each other, 
I had been lost all the time when I was with you, 
Or maybe I was always lost till I left you,
When the one you loved with all your heart thinks of you as a stranger.

You called me a stranger who destroyed you, 
But what about the moments when you needed to be rebuilt, 
The moments when you had given up on your dreams,
Right now as I see your charred body being carried out nostalgia hits me. 

I thought I would live and survive without your shadow cast on me, 
Living away from you all this while, 
Trying to figure out my purpose in life, 
You haunted me in my memories. 

That gaze of warmth that you had, 
Once you had set your sights on me I was all yours, 
You became my friend and then slowly everything, 
You took all the vacant space that there was in my heart only to make me fall. 

I always thought that a relationship had two people, 
But in our case it was just me who was blind in love, 
You told the world about my flaws and my cold-hearted personality,
But never you told them the things that led to it. 

I cried to you, 
Asking for you to give me your time, 
The time that you devoted to the unknowns, 
Solving their problems but never mine. 

And now I see your body, 
Fell the last cuts that you had cut, 
Trying to escape from the ghost of us from our past, 
When I stepped out of your life, 
You life went reverse. 

You painted me as villain that I never was, 
Telling a tale to the world which wasn't the whole truth, 
Who was there when you were battling your depression, 
Who was there  when you needed a family away from home. 

Or I thought that I was your family, 
You be-ratted me, 
Made me feel expendable and then the final act, 
Ignoring your heart to be lost in the worldly charms. 

I had to go away, 
You thought it was easy for me, 
What about the sleepless nights and the tear drenched pillow, 
About the absence of a soul from your body. 

I sit inside the house, 
The house where we first met, 
Locking myself in my favourite room, 
Smelling the light fragrance of the inflammable liquid that you had used. 

And there I relived us for one more time, 
Smiling as a drop of blood releases itself from the grasp of my body, 
With a small gash on my arm and a glass of whiskey I stood, 
Smoking the last cigarette of the pack, 
Throwing the lit stub to the liquid. 

With your smiling face asking me to follow you, 
The flames engulf my body, 
Releasing a part of your soul that was stuck inside me, 
With you now already gone, 
I feel free in this inferno, 
As you were always hidden, 
In my veins.

In My Veins (The Untold Story)

In My Veins (The Untold Story)

When you have traveled a thousand miles,

In the scorching sun over your head,

It is normal to have a conflict with reality, 

But then when sometimes the flashes from your past don't let you live. 

You had said your part, 
Now it is my turn to tell, 
Tell the world I wasn't the mean girl,
That you made the world believe. 

It was a smooth ride, 
As if it was ripped off from a script,
Boy saw a girl at a party, 
And then slowly they get into a relationship. 

But what if I told you, 
The relationship wasn't the way it seemed,
It was more darker than a moonless night, 
It was not the spring but more of the harsh cold of December. 

I never meant to leave you, 
Never did I imagine myself walking out of that door, 
But you made me do it,
And painted me as a villan

You are dead now, 
With a razor cut on your wrist,
The blood coming out,
Making the floor look like a battleground. 

You tortured me, 
Beat me in public, 
Threatened my individuality, 
Making me your serf.

Never leaving a chance to disrespect me, 
But making me used to you around,
Now with your blood flowing down the apartment,
All I can see is the pain you had.

But then you made me a junkie,
Got me hooked on your presence,
Ensuring that your soul had entrapped my spirit,
And forcing me to live like a zombie. 

I tried hard to move on, 
Getting a new job, 
Moving to a different city, 
Years had passed and then I saw you again. 

I always had my eyes out for you,
Made sure that you were safe, 
Little did I know,
That my absence would have made you suffocate.

Now you're gone,
To a land where there is no returning from,
Scarring me for life, 
With your death on my hands. 

While I think of you, 
I see the razor that you had used,
Feeling your pains from the gashes you had, 
Replicating them on my wrists. 

I had to free myself, 
From the people around me, 
People who questioned me about you, 
The blood that rushed through my veins would remind me of your soft kisses. 

My wrist would remind me, 
Of the way you held my hands during the winters,
The skin would remind me of you caressing my back,
I could not fathom my life knowing that you are gone. 

As the seconds passed, 
Darkness would slowly welcome its lost child,
With my blood mixing with yours,
Meeting its captors after ages. 

I see my eyes shut, 
With the image of your face in front of me, 
Asking me for one last chance, 
With the last drop dripping from my wrist, 
I see the last of your memory flood out of my soul. 

With my body cold, 
My eyes shut, 
My breathing fades away, 
As all I knew was that I had you in my veins. 

I Wanna Grow Old With You

I Wanna Grow Old With You 

Time passed and the seasons changed,

Life is like the weather, 

Sometimes ruled by the clouds, 

And sometimes a battlefield for a thunderstorm. 

Never did I in my mortal life thought, 

People in this fucked up society,

Would masquarade the mask of emotions,

And slowly stab me in the back.

But then you came into my life, 

Like a tornado ripping apart a peaceful garden, 

My heart was blown away in pieces, 

You were the dark magic done by the witches to haunt my life.

Whenever I saw you smile, 

It was enough for me lose my heart, 

And be swept away by the charm that you had which no one ever saw,

But then who knew that the cause of my destruction would be my heart.

The emotions that I had kept bottled up,

Memories that I locked away in a safe, 

All were opened up, 

Just because of you. 

Now it has been five years since we first met,

The rain still reminds me of the night when you came back,

You decided to let all your fears go and accept mine as your own, 

Now I am here asking you to be with me,

To look me dead in eyes when I saw this.

Never did I think, 

That I would fall back in love, 

Never did I think,

That my heart will start a rebellion behind the cage that I locked it in, 

I may have been breathing, 

Yet I was never alive,

But now I see things clearly.

So here I stand,

Asking you at the very place where I first saw you, 

If you would let me have the honour, 

To grow old with you?

 

True Love Knows No Ending

True Love Knows No Ending

Remember the time when we read fairy tales, 
Waiting to see a happy ending,
Imagining our lives in the story,
Looking for a way to see the happiness on the other side.

All it took one day for me,
To travel down the path seeking for that feeling,
Success and money were just materialistic things,
But the world only worked for this. 

I worked day and night, 
Just to build a corporation big enough, 
To make the world bend to my wishes,
Poverty did take out the only emotion that I could sacrifice,
Happiness was the thing I sacrificed. 

 You and your love for flowers and the colours, 
Had an impact on this black and white world, 
You were the artist,
Everything else was just a canvas. 

The colour filled room, 
Did make me wonder who created this,
You were here busy with a handful of lilies,
That you forgot I had entered my suite.

From there on it was just a story for the ages, 
You were just a lost traveler,
Seeking for a place to be called home, 
While I was just a disturbed soul seeking solace. 

It was only time that I fell for you, 
I knew that you also felt for me,
Yet something was stopping you,
It was like a cell in which you kept your soul.

The man who owned you,
Mistreated you and made you suffer alone in this world,
Still called himself your husband,
Marking a bull's eye on his back with his skeletons from his past.

Willing to make you suffer,
And drown you in your guilty conscience,
Turned himself in for the crimes that were next to treason,
He knew he was innocent but took the liberty to chain your soul again. 

You ran back into my life,
Asking me to help clear his name,
For whom I was the man who stole you away fro him, 
Your misty eyes were like the piped piper's song and I was just a kid following your tune. 

Searching every corner of the earth,
Only To find the answers in land far away,
A step on a mine was its cost,
It was like a barren land when I paid the price.

Three months later he was out,
Searching for you all over the place,
Only to be haunted by the ghost of his lies and deciet,
Trying to shackle the soul whic I had unshackled.

Attempting to cage the bird that I had freed,
You taking your final journey,
To search for my soul that became your home,
Becoming free from this mortal world.

True love knows no endings,
Neither did ours,
We did meet again,
And this time it was forever.